People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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