What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
