What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
