Your mouth is God's brothel.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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