So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
