so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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