youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
