dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
North Korea, Best Korea!
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
