if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
