I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
