At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
