its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
