This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
