You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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