While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
