My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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