Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
