Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
