I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
