Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
