Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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