what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
