So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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