I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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