I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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