My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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