Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
