Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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