Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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