Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
