my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize