Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
