My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
