hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
