I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
