Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
