i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
