oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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