We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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