That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
