I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
