He asked to "fluff my boner.."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
