Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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