no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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