dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
there is puke in my bra ... again
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
