can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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