I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
