I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
