He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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