just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Church boner. Awkwardddd
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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