I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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