Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
