Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize