Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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