omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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