we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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