kristin has been a bad kristin
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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