And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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